Of all the human experiences in life falling in love is the euphoria of the human condition. Going through adolescence many experience puppy love and infatuation but not the life changing emotion that is associated with a great love of ones life. For many this kind of great love only happens once in a lifetime. I guess I am one of the lucky ones to have experienced three times a lady in my lifetime.
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It was the summer of '67 I was a lifeguard for Conference Point Camp on Lake Geneva. Little did I know how a beautiful young lady could have such a profound affect on the rest of my life. For the rest of that summer we were as one. Then as suddenly as she came into my life she was gone. I learned how to cope with her loss but, her memory has stayed with me all through the years.
It was years latter I married the mother of my children. Then again after 10 years through more downs than ups we parted ways. I guess it was inevitable. From the onset the deck was stacked against us. After a few years of soul searching it happened again. On a Saturday night in '83 what a lady and what a night happened to me.
Little did I know that in an instant the mutual spontaneity of attraction that quickly blossomed into the greatest love I had ever known lasted for 4 short years. As her illness progressed I wished I could have done more. After her passing there were others but none could ever replace what she did for me.
It had been over 12 years of blindly searching for love but, never really finding it. Somehow after those years of trying I ended up in Florida still searching for the last great love Little did I know that once again love would finally come my way. As luck would have it she was standing right next to me. For weeks I taught her swimming and as she progressed the student quickly became a teacher herself. Now it has been 22 years since those days in the pool. Growing old through the passage of time we have weathered many of life problems but always managed to give love in return.
Giving Your Best in Your Marriage or Dating Relationship
I enjoy writing about 'Relationships' as it is one of my favourite subjects. Honestly, today relationships have turned out to be similar to the 'changing of clothes' every day. People love to change their partners every now and then. The gist of all is: 'the changing times'. We as human beings have conformed to the practices of the world, and we swing by as the world does. However, if you aren't able to foster or nurture one relationship, then you aren't going to nurture the other. Though, there is one exception in my view to what I just stated; it is not to target those relationships that are abusive, where the victim male or female is physically or mentally abused. We get to live life once, and it does not mean that we succumb to any relationship that is torturous in nature.
After conducting a brief research study on the subject, it is realized that different authors have made varying observations regarding this subject. Each author expresses his/her own view as they perceive and define 'relationship'.
Turn 'on' your Positive Psychology in Relationships
Author Carr in 'Positive Psychology: The Science of Happiness and Human Strengths' stated that positive psychology is related to the positive emotions and affection in one's relationship. When both the partners work through their conflicts, and sort them out by communicating respectfully and forgiving each other's mistakes; then they tend to gain high levels of satisfaction in their relationship. This being one aspect, the other is the endurance and perseverance to work at your relationship. If you love and care about your partner then it is obvious that you will work towards sharing a positive relationship.
Stop seeking Perfection in your partner
The realization is important that we are human beings, and none of us is perfect. Therefore, we cannot expect perfection in our partner. There will be certain behaviours that may irritate, or there might be some weaknesses that are too hard to accept, but the bottom-line is you have to deal with those behaviours in a positive way without humiliating or demeaning your partner. Rather than reacting impulsively to those behaviours, you can wait for the right time to talk with your partner about certain behaviours that seem annoying. The confrontational talk needs to be non-judgmental, so that your partner is a good recipient to your concerns.
Overcome the Temptation
As we live in a new era it has become easy to switch partners or move on without giving a thought to your relationship. The biggest temptation nowadays seems to be 'gap-fillers'. Gap-fillers are those 'so-called friends' who make an entry in your life at just the wrong time. When you face challenging times in your marriage or dating relationship, then it is normal that you have a friend who acts as your partner replacement. He/She is filled with all the good talks, assurances and may even want you to think that life is worth living, so why live with a partner you aren't happy with?
However, if you think really deep, it can be analyzed or assessed that if you cannot live or put up with one partner, then there is no guarantee that you are able to put up with a new partner. The beginning days of a new and rosy relationship may seem to be the best, but you never know when the same relationship may turn to your worst.
The best advice when your marriage or relationship isn't working is to wait patiently and to give yourself and partner the time to figure out whether it is truly over, and for genuine reasons so that you don't get a chance to regret in life for missing out on the best.
3 Stages to Give Yourself a Chance for Love
Being jointly mindful about how relationships develop gives you a chance at committed love, and you can both relax and explore along the way.
It takes time to get to the point of commitment. Too many leap into commitment too early. It causes heartbreak and disappointment.
Have you done that? Like a fairy tale with a first date and then living happily every after? It's a fairy tale! The real world is that love takes time. Take each of the three stages to get there.
Stage One - First Dates
This is the exploratory stage. Is there any chemistry? Everything's very preliminary.
It's not time yet to be thinking about a possible future together, just checking the other out, and seeing if you're interested enough for future dates.
Relationship chemistry's physical, emotional, and spiritual. The physical is often obvious... do you find the person physically attractive? Do you like the eyes, mouth, body type? What about the voice and laugh, even the accent?
How does the person smell to you? What about the sense of touch when you shake hands or even kiss? What about taste?
If a person tastes or smells of smoke, is that a game-changer for you? Some things will never change. Some things will or can change over time, but right now you're at the stage of first impressions through the five senses.
There is also the emotional and spiritual connection that's part of early chemistry discovery. How's the conversation? What do you care about? Do you share similar interests and life views?
Stage Two is the Honeymoon
The Honeymoon's special. It's something many couples work to keep aspects of later in their relationships.
You see one another frequently. You have a lot of fun and excitement together as you get to really know one another.
The honeymoon can last for a few months, or up to a year. It ends as you get to recognize the humanity of your partner. Your partner has flaws, and you start to see them. And they yours.
For some, the honeymoon is all they want. They have a kind of addiction to the thrill of the honeymoon.
They break up and move on as the honeymoon phase matures to its close. I call these people 90-Day Wonders.
They're great for a honeymoon, but lack the emotional stability and maturity to pursue a long-term relationship.
Relationship Commitment is Stage Three
Once the honeymoon with the rose-colored glasses is ending, and you see one another's lack of perfection, you may try to change one another.
You may struggle over who's and who's wrong in situations, beliefs, and attitudes. This can become a power struggle.
If you can get to the point where you accept one another as you are, rather than try to change perceived imperfections, many relationships become stronger and endure.
If not, breakup can happen, or, often worse, staying together and being miserable.
If the decision's to accept your partner, and vice-versa, the relationship can continue and grow in a healthy way. You've given one another a chance at finding love.
Are you interested in living your life intentionally to create the life you want to lead? Research shows that using creative mindfulness is the way to Design the Life You Want.
A big part of the life we want is a Love Relationship. Are you sick and tired of failing to get what you want?
How to Become More Patient in a Relationship
Patience is paramount for the success of any romantic relationship. Acting patiently towards your partner can help you to maintain the peace in the relationship so that you can sustain the love and harmony in the partnership.
In this article, I want to take a look at a few things you can do to become even more patient in your relationship so that you can have an enjoyable love life.
1. Think About the Benefits of Exercising a Little Patience
Think about what you will gain if you control yourself. By doing that, you will realize that you stand to gain if you control your temper, and you will be more willing to be patient.
For example, you can decide to think to yourself such as, "Isaac is helping me a lot. He bought me a smart phone and laptop last year, and he has promised to buy me a car. Although I get irritated every time I see him talking to other women, I will not lose all that he has promised to do for me just because I am jealous that he talks to other women. Rather, I will control myself and find out the truth about his relationship with these women. If I react angrily, it will hurt the relationship and I will lose all the great things he has in store for me. I want to become more patient. I must be more patient so that I can keep him. " It will help you to become more patient with others.
2. Remind Yourself of How Impatience Has Cost Some People in the Past
Read the story of how Saul was dethroned because he was impatient (1Kings 13 of the Bible), and also of how Moses did not get the opportunity to set his foot in Canaan, a land flowing with milk and honey, because he was impatient (Numbers Chapter 20 of the Bible).
Meditate on these stories and also on the experiences of people you know in your family or neighborhood who have lost material possessions or the love of their loved ones because they were impatient.
This exercise will make you see that sometimes impatience can cost people in a great way. In addition, you may reason that if you are not careful, you can also suffer the fate of these people. Accordingly, you will be motivated to keep your impatience in check.
3. Take Inspiration from Hannah's Story
One of the ways to become more patient is to ruminate upon the lives of people who have gained great rewards after being patient.
There are examples of people in the Bible who got great rewards after they exercised patience. An example is Hannah, who ignored the taunts and provocation of her rival (who teased her for being barren), and who after exercising patience gave birth to six children.
Read the story of Hannah often. Remind yourself of how she endured provocation and ridicule, and the benefits she got, and let it teach you how to endure provocation from your partner. You will become more patient when you apply the methods she used to endure provocation in 1 Samuel Chapter 1 of the Bible.
Conclusion
If you want to become more patient in a relationship, consider the benefits of exercising patience, recall what impatience has done to other people, and remind yourself often of how Hannah was patient and of how her patience was a great blessing to her. You will appreciate the importance of controlling yourself and that will help you to be patient.
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